Sunday, November 28, 2010

We Chose

We chose life; a beautiful, precious life...when we had offers by doctors to terminate that life many times over.

We chose love; unconditional, unreserved love...when we could have withheld so that the pain of this loss wouldn't be so intense, so wearing, so excruciatingly painful. 

We chose hope; just a glimpse, a sliver of hope and a dream ...when we could have given up because it was just too hard, too taxing, too draining. 

We chose faith; blind, reckless, all-in faith based on a promise ...when we could have turned our back because our prayers weren't answered in the way we wanted them answered. 

We chose all of these things for a boy. For a boy named Aaron Matthew. For our son. 

...And I would choose these things all over again... time... after time... after time...without a second thought. 

I would choose to know my little boy, to love him unconditionally and unreservedly as his mother, to have hope for his life and his future and to have faith that God would lovingly care for His son and for us through this journey. All over again. Every time. Without a doubt.

Today has been three months since we said goodbye. A quarter of a year has continued to move on. We have lived 93 days without him, when it feels like the world should stand still. Each day I wake up to the harsh reality that he is not here and to empty arms that should hold my son. 

My heart is broken.
Life is just not right without you.
We love you and miss you sweet boy.


  1. Amen, Danielle!! You chose and would choose again. I know it.

    We had the same offers, and dared to hope and to love when we knew how much it could hurt.

    No one chooses this. I hope that you find grace equal to your grief as time dares to march on without a sweet boy named Aaron Matthew.

  2. you chose and it was the right choice for you and i know you know that it was right to give your wonderful baby boy a chance.

    your an amazing person and a brave and inspiring and i'm praying for you <3

    stay strong :)

  3. We too made that choice (with our first son Jake). And, I would make the same choice again too. I would not trade the time we had with him for anything.

    I wish the world would stand still. Even though it won't I will stand still with you. Take care.


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