Thankful in the Storm

Today is bittersweet. 

Happy Thanksgiving Aaron Matthew.

You would be three months old today, sweet boy.

We miss you.

Today should be our first family holiday...one with a three month old in tow. Instead, it is our first family holiday without him. Today, on a bittersweet day of giving thanks, I know this much...

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I am blessed.

In the midst of this storm, I am blessed.

Through the best times and worst times of life, I am blessed. 

Although our son is gone, I am blessed. 

I thank God daily, for I am blessed... 

...with family

who have loved us as Christ loved. How do you ever repay those who have become the hands and feet of God to you? Those who did our laundry, cooked our meals and kept our life afloat when we merely had the energy to open our eyes, take a breath and climb out of bed each day. Those who rearranged their lives, made themselves available every minute of every day and planned a memorial service for a grandson, nephew and son without being asked because even the smallest decisions seemed insurmountable to us under the weight of grief. For getting involved in the "mess" of our lives and loving us when we are unlovable. To our family... thank you seems such an understatement to show our appreciation and gratitude for all that you have done...there aren't enough words to thank you for loving us, caring for us and walking with us through the best and worst days of our lives. We love you.

...with friends

who have also been there with us through the best and worst days of our lives. To those of you who encouraged and prayed us through our pregnancy, rejoiced with us after Aaron's birth and wept with us as we said goodbye. To those who have sat with us as we've cried,  who have listened to stories of Aaron for the umpteenth time over coffee and who have managed to bring laughter and joy back into our lives when a simple smile seemed impossible. For the meals, the flowers, the listening, the talking, the cups of coffee, the encouraging text messages and e-mails...thank you.  Thank you for standing by our side as we weather this storm. We love you all.

...with a new Perspective

that has changed my life. I would give anything to have Aaron back, anything. Through his loss, I have gained a new perspective that has changed me to the core of my innermost being. I may not be a better person or parent than someone else, but because of his brief life, I will be a better person and a better parent in my life. He has taught me that life is short and delicate, to truly appreciate the small things, to love without reservation, to enjoy more and worry less, to give without a second thought, to not take people for granted, to show kindness, love and respect to everyone...you never know what storm they may be weathering. I am thankful that I have learned these things that others may never truly understand until there has been a change in their perspective.

...with a loving Heavenly Father

who gave His one and only son to die on the cross for us, so that we may have eternal life. So that we can have hope that we will, one day, see our Aaron Matthew again. Thank you Father. 

...with the basics of life

that every human being should have, but many do not. I have a roof over my head to keep me dry and safe from the weather, food on my table to keep me nourished and healthy, and clothes on my body to keep me warm. For this, I am thankful. 

 Father, thank you for all of your blessings in my life. Thank you for my son, his life and the chance to know him. Thank you for your love and grace. I will continue to praise you in all that you've done and all that you do. Thank you for your beautiful son. I love you. Amen.

Happy three month birthday Aaron Matthew. I miss you little one, more than words can say.