Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Hope

It is Christmas.

Joy, Peace, Love, Hope...they linger in the air.

I should be joyful and thankful that our son is with Jesus, but to be completely honest, today I am not. He should be here.

I wish this was not the attitude with which I have approached Christmas this year, but as a friend put it, much of the "glitter", magic and sparkle of this Christmas has been lost on "what should have been...what should be". He should be here.

Yes, laughter, smiles and fun are still exchanged with our family and friends, but they don't annul the emptiness that resides in my heart and wells up as a pit in my stomach when I think of our Aaron Matthew and imagine him in my arms. He should be here. 

Christmas has brought forth such fresh sorrow again...sorrow that my heart cannot navigate and my mind cannot comprehend. He should be here.

Yet, as the superficial layers of Christmas are peeled away, we do find these things... joy, peace, love and hope...all in a Savior. All in a baby boy who was sent to us and for us. All in a baby boy who died on a cross for us. A baby boy who died...oh how I have a hard time with that. This marks the first Christmas that tears ran down my face at Christmas eve service...for that boy of mine; for that boy named Jesus. What a gift he gave. My heart understands now.

Joy, Peace, Love, Hope...this one stands out this year. Hope.

Dear Aaron,

Merry Christmas my son. As I stop and look at your ornaments on your little evergreen memory tree, I can only imagine who you'd be today... 

Happy 4 month birthday sweet boy.

Please tell Jesus Happy Birthday... and thank you....

I love you so very much and desperately miss you. 



  1. thinking of you at this difficult holiday time.

  2. I wish you peace and hope. I will try to hope with you. Take care.


Designed by Lena