Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Far too long...

Well hello again. I've missed this place. I've missed sharing my heart and our life in this little space here. It's hard for me to believe that so much time has passed since my last post. At that time, our sweet Elizabeth Grace-to-be was a mere 23 weeks young and she's now a smiling, giggling, full-of-joy 6 and a half month old (with a healthy heart I might add)! Through the last months of my pregnancy and since her birth, many a blog posts have been written in my mind and simply never made it into tangible form. One of the many things that Aaron taught me during his life is that time is delicate, short. It goes by far too quickly. I have taken that to heart. My several month absence is spoken for by the beautiful girl I am blessed to hold in my arms. Writing moved to the bottom of my to-do list, and well, by the time I ever made it there, sleep usually took precedence :)

This journey through continued grief and the transition to "rainbow baby" life and love after losing Aaron continues to pull me through an emotional spectrum that I anticipated, yet had no idea exactly what to expect. Grief is different now. It is not physically exhausting as it once was; it is instead deep and subtle, but there nonetheless. Now, I move through most of my days with a smile on my face, happier than I've ever been. This little girl lights up my world, truly. With that smile though is a deep longing, a tugging on my heart that is relentless...it sits very near the surface, ready to break through into tears with just the right prodding. Every look into her sparkling blue eyes, each smile, giggle, tear...I wonder. What would he have been like? What would his laugh sound like? Would he have a mop of bright blond hair like his daddy and I both had as toddlers?  Someday we'll find out...

Until then, I dream of what he would be like.  I miss him like crazy. And, I love this sweet lil' Elizabeth Grace with every bit of my heart. Thank you, God, for the incredible blessing of my children.

Until my next post (which hopefully won't be 9 months away), I'll leave you with a glimpse of the past 6 months with our sweet Elizabeth Grace...

Feb 15, 2012, 10:31 am. 6 lb. 7 oz of pure love!

We talk about big brother often

My serious girl 
~8 weeks~

~3 months~

June~ learning the art of sticking out her tongue

The many faces of EG
~5 months~

My love.
~6 months~

1 comment:

  1. {{{HUG}}} She is absolutely beautiful. So very happy for you to have found happiness.


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