"Hurry Up and Wait"

We have a few new updates on our little guy Aaron. It feels like the last couple weeks have been spent rushing around and hurrying to get doctors appointments in so we have a "plan" in place for Aaron's birth (whether that is a planned c-section or natural delivery, heart surgery or transplant?) only to find out from doctors that there is no plan other than to...wait. I am such a planner and like to be in control; God is certainly teaching us about faith in HIS plan and patience through all of this!

We had several doctors appointments last week (@35 weeks along) in which we found out:

~ Little man is measuring in at approx 5 lbs and 10 oz (and still growing!). Our Doctors are all very pleased with his size since kiddos with CHD tend to be on the smaller side.

~At 30 weeks along, our echocardiogram showed that the original fistula (that had eliminated surgery as an option initially) was still nowhere to be found (a 100% God Miracle!); however, a new small fistula from the right coronary artery was developing. 

~Last week, our echocardiogram showed no significant changes that our cardiologist or the surgeons could see and they are unable to determine at this point if the new fistula will be a limitation to surgery, so the consensus is to let Aaron arrive in his own time...followed by an angiogram and then a decision to go down the path of either surgery or a transplant. We are so very blessed to be in such capable hands of all of the doctors and nurses at Children's  and we are truly thankful for our WONDERFUL cardiologist; they have all been compassionate and remarkable every step of the way!

 It is amazing how quickly time has been flying by! A few weeks ago, I felt like I had all the time in the world before Aaron's arrival and now he could be joining our family any day (although we hope he waits a while longer and grows a bit more)! We are so excited to finally meet our little guy, see who he looks like and hold him in our arms, but at the same time, I am honestly anxious and fearful for what's to come. At times, I wonder if fear and anxiety show weakness in my faith, but I've spent the past nine months bonding with this little guy, feeling every kick and hiccup and watching him squirm away form the sonographers when they're on the brink of getting "that perfect shot" they wanted on an ultrasound. God knows my heart, including my fears, hopes, anxiety and prayers...and I guess I couldn't really consider myself a mom if I wasn't worried about what's to come for our son. As ironic as it sounds, once he's in our arms, we can't protect him anymore... but we know that God has a plan and He will have His loving and healing hands around our son. All we can do is continue to pray and have faith...

"For you created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well." 

~Psalm 139: 13-14