Thursday, March 31, 2011

Someday

As the days get longer and the warmth of the sunshine is stretched well into the evening hours, I miss our son even more. I miss the evening walks as a family that should have been. I miss our first spring days together in the warm sunshine and cool, crisp Colorado air. I miss watching him sleep soundly in our arms. I could go on forever...all of these "should have been moments" that we never got to experience with Aaron... I miss them as if they were a part of our life for as long as I can remember. 


They say that time heals all wounds; that it makes loss easier. I disagree. It doesn't heal the gaping hole that your child's death leaves behind. It doesn't make it easier, it makes it different. The longing, tears and sadness that used to consume every minute and every thought of every day after Aaron died are replaced by the true realization of what we are missing...of who we are missing. The grins, giggles and busyness of a sweet seven month old boy that should be filling our days never will. For some reason, now more than ever, this reality is setting into my heart... and it hurts.


A promise is all that carries me through this hurt. A promise that someday I will see this sweet face again. Of this, I am sure.

video

(Aaron at 1 day old...I think he would have enjoyed a pacifier from the looks of it. Thank you for the video Steve and Amy!)

6 comments:

  1. My heart aches for you. I think of and pray for you and your hubby so often!! We WILL see our sweet boys' faces again... the promise that keeps us breathing! Love to you... and the video is precious! Yes, it looks like he would have loved a paci! :) He is so beautiful.

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  2. AWwwww, loved the video. Keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers...always. love ya, xoxoxoxxo

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  3. What a special treat to have this video - didn't know Amy took it....I, too, am homesick for sweet Aaron. Love to you and Dan always....

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  4. Danielle - my heart hurts for you. I absolutely hate that Aaron isn't here with you. Selfish, I know, as I'm sure he's doing fabulous with Jesus. :) This is one of my favorite times of the year with the kiddos - those walks and playing outside - and really just the noise of them enjoying playing. Wish so much that Aaron was here enjoying all of that with you guys. I've heard from our friends the 6 month-ish mark is really hard as reality really sinks in. Know we think of you all the time, love you and pray for you almost constantly! Missing him, too. Amy

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  5. Oh Danielle ~ what a sweet, sweet angel your baby boy Aaron is.

    His beautiful face really shines through this video. Missing him right along with you.

    All of my love to you and Dan.

    ~Phanneth

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  6. I LOVE this song in the video (and seeing sweet Aaron when he was 1 day old)! I have this CD by Selah (there is a song on it called Unredeemed that helps me during the harder times)...on the CD they talk about the song I Will Carry You and how there is a version for a baby boy (one of their friend's sons died too soon too)...I'll have to try to find the link. I'm glad you liked the thoughts about the Possibilities of Happiness...I felt like it summed up how I'm feeling sometimes too. I also love that you had Aaron's name written in the sand. I'd like to have Daniel's name done too..just need to get around to doing it! :)

    Praying for you...keep pressing on!

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